ever faithful

Thank you God for your faithfulness. For the beauty you reveal and the growth you inspire. You teach me how to love and how to be loved. I never want to be far from you. Hold me forever. Amen

endurance and faith

So, I've been learning a lot about perseverance lately. . .
Did you ever have something that you were really excited about but when it actually happened, it wasn't at all like you thought it would be?

That's kind of where I'm at right now. I was so excited about this new change in my life and I thought it was going to be so great, because of many reasons. Problem is, things changed and I'm left feeling extremely disappointed. :/

I ask God, 'why do you have me here?' (Because I do believe that I am where he wants me to be) His answer . . . 'trust me'.

So, here I am waiting and trusting.

I have learned a valuable lesson in my Bible reading time. God has asked that I not only endure these things, but also embrace them. Grow. Live in a way that will glorify him! Uh, that changes EVERYTHING!!
It's not just about getting through it or 'grinning and bearing' it. He wants me to do so much more than that.
I am challenged in this. I want to do God's will and I know that he sees what I cannot. I have to move forward in faith and be obedient to his request.

Jeremiah 29:7
Work for the good of the cities where I have made you go as prisoners. Pray to me on their behalf, because if they are prosperous, you will be prosperous too.

Prayer:
God I know you have a plan and I trust you. Please help me to do your will and to live in a way that glorifies you.
Amen

growing up

I've been having some growing pains lately. Some spiritual growing pains.

I have been feeling weary with the daily grind of work and all. Sometimes I wish I could just run away and go live on an island or someplace far away.

In my imagination, it's somehow easier that way. Though, I'm not sure how starting over would be. I guess it all sounds easier in theory, right?

It usually takes me a while to realize that the things I want to run away from are things that would be present anywhere I would go. Things like getting through the day and taking care of what needs to be taken care of. You know . . . life. :)

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely blessed and have a wonderful life. I'm just talking about the general weariness of moving forward each day and learning along the way.

I am grateful for everything that God has given me. He is so faithful.

The topic of Spiritual growth and maturity has come up a couple of times this past week. It was Godly timing as I was starting to grumble about work and life.

The Spiritual growth topic discussed how critical it is for me to have a daily quiet time with God. Time to read, reflect, pray and meditate. To converse with God and to seek his will.

The Spiritual maturity topic reminded me that I will go through difficult times and will be refined. And that these times will be a time of growth and, if I am obedient, will lead to blessings.

I know that God knows better and is capable of more than I am. So, I'm thinking, I'll just do things his way. Even though it may not be easy and there may be times of weariness. It's still the better way.

I want to grow and I want to be closer to God each day.

Prayer for the day:
God, thank you for knowing better than I. Thank you for the opportunity to grow closer to you. Thank you for listening to me complain. I know that you love me anyway. You are faithful and true. I love you.
Amen

it's not about me

I recently walked beside a friend through some difficult decisions.

It was really hard to balance being supportive and encouraging while not influencing her decisions. I prayed a lot. She was receiving sound advice from others and was able to set boundaries and move forward toward change.

The part that was difficult for me, was that I didn't realize that I was building my own expectations for the outcome. I wanted celebration but the sadness of the change was overwhelming to her.

I confess to you now that I was disappointed because the end result didn't go as I thought it would. I didn't get my immediate gratification. :)

Here's my reality check and my chance to choose . . . .

I can choose to be worried and upset at the way things ended up. Or I can choose to believe that if God was in control in the beginning of this journey then there's no reason to think he's not in control now.

Aside from my obedience to God, none of this is about me. This is God's plan. Not mine.

I have to remind myself that obedience isn't always going to produce 'warm fuzzies'.
Sometimes it's rewarding outwardly with 'thank yous' and hugs. Sometimes the reward is just in knowing that you were obedient to God.

I am making a conscious choice to follow God's will, be obedient and trust that he will take care of the rest.

Sometimes we don't see the blessings of obedience right away, but we know that God blesses us in our obedience.

I realize that even though I feel pretty yucky right now - I still know that God is in control. I can rejoice in knowing that I did as he asked. This is my reward.

Prayer for the day;
Dear God, you are faithful, all knowing and generous in your wisdom and mercy. I praise you God and I thank you for all of the blessings that surround me. I know that you are in control, Lord. I know that I can obey you with trust. I give you my life and I seek just your will for me.
I love you.
Amen.

The only one . . .

The past couple of months have been so hectic and full of changes. When I think back on how I would have handled it a year ago, it's a bit frightening. :/

I am so grateful for God's faithfulness. He led me to a church that has proven to be caring, loving, supportive and surprisingly transparent in extending and admitting the need for grace. http://www.sunvalleycc.com/. There, I was able to attend a wonderful program called Celebrate Recovery, which helped me through my divorce and issues with pain and hurts from my childhood.

The amount of healing that has taken place in my life over the past year is a miracle in itself. But, he hasn't stopped there. He is continuing to bless me and lead me and teach me.

I found such comfort in reading his word this morning.

Isaiah 41:10
Do not be afraid-I am with you! I am your God-let nothing terrify you! I will make you strong and help you; I will protect you and save you.

Isaiah 44:6
. . . . "I am the first, the last, the only God; there is no other god but me.

There was something about reading that he is the one true God and that he knows me and will never forget me. It made me feel joyful inside and happy. I know that his love never ends and that he created me and accepts me.

He is the only one . . . the one true God.

Praise be to God . . .

Not only has God shown his faithfulness to me, but I have seen this around me as well. In the lives of my friends. I am always amazed at how he loves us. I have learned not to underestimate the power of prayer. I know that God hears my prayers and that he speaks to me.

He has shown his faithfulness over and over again, in my life. One of the great things about this is that, as I turn to him consistently, his faithfulness helps grow my trust in him. He has always answered my prayers. Sometimes it is in a big way that I can't miss, other times the answer is a gentle imparting of wisdom and peaceful knowing.

The hardest times for me have been when he tells me I must wait. Sometimes I want things right away or in the timing that I think is right. But, I have learned that He knows so much better than I. His timing is perfect. He loves me and will direct me. He wants me to turn to him. I willingly do so, because I know that there is no better place to be than in his love.

Proverbs 30:5
God keeps every promise he makes. He is like a shield for all who seek his protection.

Prayer for the day:
I thank you God. I praise you for your love and faithfulness. You are my hope. I trust you, Lord. I seek your will.

Amen

trust issues

So, I was feeling worried about my new job at the end of last week, but this week has been the exact opposite. Isn't it funny how things can just turn around like that?

Well, I should say, it's a God thing. Because it is. I was so consumed with my own desire to feel welcomed and accepted that I couldn't see the opportunity that was given to me. I am truly blessed.

God is incredibly faithful and infinitely wise. No matter what the situation, if I choose to turn to God and do his will, I have peace.

My first memory verse was:

Philippians 4: 6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds, in Christ Jesus.

This verse has been so helpful and true to me.

I still get anxious and worry at times, but it doesn't consume me like it has before. I find that I don't dwell on things as often or for as long as I used to. The problem I kept having was basically a trust issue.

People would say, 'give it to God' or 'let go and let God', so, I would try to do this. (or so I thought) I would pray that God would take my worry or fear away. I would cry and beg for it to be taken from me. All the while, keeping a death grip on the problem because of my lack of trust.

Turns out, I wasn't really giving it over to God. I was saying it but I wasn't relinquishing control over it. Because I wasn't trusting God.

It's like, when my kids want to help me with something. I appear to let them help, but I'm usually standing guard or watching them like a hawk, ready to sweep in if they make a mistake.

But, if someone I trust offers to help, I can let them do it with peace of mind, trusting that they most likely won't mess it up.

As soon as I began to trust God, I was able to give him more and more of my life, knowing that he always works towards good in my life and that he knows better than I.

Peace at last.

Prayer for the day:

Thank you God for the peace that you give us. The peace that transcends all understanding. I love you God and want your will for my life. Stay close to me and guide me. I need you and want to be with you always.

Amen

fight or flight

I grew up with 3 brothers and when a situation comes up where I feel threatened, my first instinct is to fight.

Often times I find myself in situations where I don't feel safe. Like in an office environment that is unhealthy. If there's a lot of gossiping or finger pointing, I feel threatened. I begin to worry about what people are saying about me. I basically stop trusting. Stop feeling safe. I then become defensive and worrisome. I try to predict the thoughts or actions of the people around me and take preventative measures. It truly feels like I'm going into battle each day.

What's my plan for the day? If they say this, then I'll say . . . . And so on . . . . . .

Not exactly a peaceful existence.

This morning, I found myself feeling the urge to run. The flight response. I thought, I'll just find another job. I'm sure God doesn't really need me to stay at this particular job. :)

But, I knew better. This is not for me to decide on my own. I have given God control over my life and my daily actions. I want to live to glorify him. Not me. I know that he loves me and he has a plan for me. I surrendered my life to him once more. As I need to do every day. I prayed and cried and asked only for wisdom of his will for me. For today. One day at a time.

God is always good and always generous with his wisdom. I understand now that he wants me to stay and fight- if even just for today. But the battle plan that I had devised was not in line with his. He wants my hands to be his hands. My words to be his words. I want this too. He has showered me will love and grace and has brought me to a point in my life where I am able to do that for others. He has revealed to me that the battle is fought by showing his love through my actions and my words. He says that we will silence their words by our actions.

I will go, Lord.

Prayer for the day:
Dear Lord, help me to do your will. Fill me with your love and grace and help me to be a vessel. Make my thoughts, words and actions, yours, Lord. I surrender to your will. I know that you will make things right and that you know better than I.
Amen

a daily time with him

What a funk I was in today. It was just one of those days for me . . . where there was just this undercurrent of negativity. Not from the outside, but coming out from within.



I had stayed up a little later than usual last night, talking with a friend and when the morning alarm went off, I stayed in bed a little longer. It was so easy for me to just roll over and fall asleep. This had put me a little behind schedule and I didn't have enough time to devote to my morning Bible reading and journaling.



God has been so faithful to me and has blessed me more than I could ever have done for myself. I had been making it a habit to get up early in the morning and spend time in the word and in prayer. It had become a cherished and hope filled act.



Without having that time this morning, my day just felt off. I felt negative and critical. Of course, I attributed it to the faults of others. Chuckle. ;)



The truth of the matter is that I was angry with myself for not prioritizing my morning. I consistently made decisions that would make it more difficult for me to keep my morning date with God. This disappointment in myself just seem to linger under the surface of all that I did.



I know that God loves me just as I am. He doesn't expect perfection and I am sure that I will continue to make wrong choices here and there. But, I am grateful for the knowledge that he has given me. I am grateful that he is merciful and loving and always good. He wants the best for me and he knows best. So, those times that I set aside in the mornings are times when I show up to receive these amazing gifts that he holds for us daily. Each and every day. We show up and he gives us his gifts.



Wisdom, love, security in him. The best part is that he meets us wherever we are. Physically as well as spiritually. Whether we are just meeting him for the first time or if we've had a long relationship with him. No matter what we've said, thought or done. He loves us. And he has gifts for us all.


Daily Prayer:

Lord, I thank you for your blessings in my life. Thank you for knowing me and loving me as I am. I know that you are generous with your wisdom and that it will bring me peace. I will seek your will for my life for as long as I live.

Amen

prayer

Today is day 4 of my new job. One that I had prayed for - for a while.

There's always that awkwardness of getting to know your new co-workers and letting them get to know you. Each person is so different and it is easy for me to make snap judgments or think I have them figured out from those first few encounters.

I am making a conscious decision daily, to not let that happen. I don't think that someone can know me in 4 days and consequently, how could I know them?

So, in the middle of my worried thoughts this morning, I realized that I hadn't turned it over to the Lord. The relationship part, I mean. I want God to control my actions and words as I go through each day. I am blessed and grateful that he has moved me into a new work environment, but my faith shouldn't stop at gratitude.

I know that he wants me to lean on him and to seek his will each day, each moment.

Prayer for the day:

Lord, I want to fulfill your will in my life. I want my actions and words to be yours. Please use my life each day, Lord, for your glory. I pray for wisdom of and strength to do your will. In your holy name, Lord.

Amen